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[cold_dry_pieces]

Exsanguination might be a more precise, more clinical term, but I've always thought it sounds more graceful to say bled out.

Not that it's a graceful method of death-- well, to be fair, few are. Still. The first word is too harsh, too sharp, too clean; doesn't catch the meaning of the awful mess, the shock of watching it pool beneath you. Even a little cut can bleed so profusely; hot, sticky, blood takes up more space than it ought to. I hate it. The sight, the smell, the sour copper tang in the air, itching as it dries on the skin.

The second term may be too gentle. Life doesn't ebb out of the body, nor consciousness fade out to peace, as we might wish to tell ourselves. Heart drumming, it forces life swiftly from the body, and desperation to survive, to cling to consciousness, only speeds the process.

Still, I can't help but feel it was a better way to go than hypothermia. Your mind and body lie to you, then, and a false heat creeps through you, making you laugh through chattering teeth. I don't remember much of it, which is probably a kindness; too taken by numbness I doubt I died with any dignity. I never asked whether we spoke, and I think it's for the best. I don't want to know what I might have said, unreasoning and bewildered. What disjointed wisdom I might have tried to impart around a numb tongue, what unspoken questions I thought to voice. It still unsettles me that I died by choice that night. I--

No. Enough. I've said enough.

Comments

[dirgingcerberus.livejournal.com]

Am I to understand you've died twice?

[cold_dry_pieces]

Three times. I bled out twice.

[dirgingcerberus.livejournal.com]

Outside of the city, it's a feat to have pulled that off.

[cold_dry_pieces]

Not one I accomplished outside the City. Where I'm from, when you die, you stay dead.

[dirgingcerberus.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. That makes more sense.

[cold_dry_pieces]

Insofar as anything here makes sense.

[dirgingcerberus.livejournal.com]

As I said, more sense.

[holymadonna.livejournal.com]

Doctor Cooper... My deepest sympathies.

[cold_dry_pieces]

It's all right.

Everyone dies, eventually.

[holymadonna.livejournal.com]

All that is born. It's a rule in life.

[cold_dry_pieces]

Admittedly, I only expected to have to do it once.

[holymadonna.livejournal.com]

Death is full of surprises as life.

[cold_dry_pieces]

That's certainly true.

I wish i could maintain such a.. peaceful attitude.

[dreamsofnoah]

A better way and so much prettier.

[cold_dry_pieces]

Messier.

[dreamsofnoah]

Same thing~.

under other circumstances he wouldn't disagree but >_>;

[cold_dry_pieces]

There's nothing aesthetically pleasing about falling out of bed and soaking the carpet with arterial spray.

XD

[dreamsofnoah]

Probably depends on whether red goes well with the carpet.

[cold_dry_pieces]

Maybe it's just a matter of personal taste. We had to throw the carpet out, anyway.

[dreamsofnoah]

I'd have kept it!

Though we had to move out after it got on too many things.

[cold_dry_pieces]

It wasn't exactly because of the blood. The carpet got ruined.

Have you ever read Macbeth?

[dreamsofnoah]

We were doing it in school, but I didn't pay much attention. Going mad like that over killing people was silly.

[cold_dry_pieces]

That's the bit I was getting at. There was another curse that week where I went all 'out, out damned spot' on the rug.

[dreamsofnoah]

Oh~, I see. But should it have bothered you if it was your blood, and not someone else's?

[cold_dry_pieces]

It wasn't a guilt thing. I hate blood. I couldn't get over the smell of it.

The funny part was, there wasn't anything there, not really.

[dreamsofnoah]

Really? The smell doesn't bother me, even if it annoys Tyki, and the taste can be so delightfully sharp~.

There don't seem to be many curses like that these days.

[cold_dry_pieces]

That's disgusting.

[dreamsofnoah]

For some people, maybe.

They're usually too busy dying to complain, though.

[cold_dry_pieces]

You're a real charmer.

[dreamsofnoah]

I like to think so~ ♥

[police-pinup.livejournal.com]

Holy fucking crap, Rudy...

I... I'm sorry, babe...

[cold_dry_pieces]

It's all right. It bothers me less than you'd think, most of the time.